Consequences
by thisiswhereIkeepmyfics
Summary: What happens when a drunken night together results in something life changing for two members of the ED staff?
1. Chapter 1

This all stemmed from a little idea that wouldn't leave me alone. Let me know if you'd like me to continue :)

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She sighed as she sat on the closed toilet lid, her head held in her hands as she watched the seconds tick by, she'd never known three minutes drag by so slowly. She swore under her breath as she finally gathered the courage to look at the white plastic stick, the blue plus sign staring back at her. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. She wiped at her eyes and dropped the test back into the box, the box joining several others in the depths of her handbag, she'd been hoping that the first test had been wrong, a mistake, so she'd taken another, and another, and another and then another, one test being wrong was a possibility but the fact she now had five positive pregnancy tests meant she had to believe it, she knew the facts, one text could be wrong, there was no way all five of the tests she'd taken were wrong. She had to face up to the facts, she was pregnant. She was having a baby. Now all she had to do was tell the father, right now, before she lost her nerve.

She took a deep breath as she approached the man who was stood hunched over the nurse's station, "Dylan, can I have a word?"

He looked up and nodded, "yes, what is it?"

"Not here, can we go somewhere more private?"

Dylan nodded and followed her down the corridor and into the smaller of the two resus rooms, "well…?"

She said nothing for a moment but busied herself with taking some tissue from the dispenser on the wall and laying it on the bed, "I erm, I'm pregnant." she eventually confessed, dropping all five of the positive tests onto the tissue she'd laid out, "I thought you had a right to know."

"I beg your pardon" Dylan frowned as he tried to process the information he'd just been given, "are you sure?"

"How much more certain would you like me to be?" the woman gestured to the five positive pregnancy tests spread out on the bed in the middle of the room, "I've been having symptoms for a couple of weeks but I didn't want to believe it, I hoped it would be something else but…" she shrugged, "I'll get what you need to do a blood test if you like? Or I'll get the ultrasound."

"And you're sure it's mine?"

She sighed, "as much as I hate to admit it I don't have a great sex life, before you it had been...well, lets just say if the last person I slept with had got me pregnant I wouldn't just be finding out about it now."

"We'd had a lot to drink, I'm not even sure we…"

"We did. Believe me we did."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"It?"

"It" Dylan gestured to her stomach.

"You mean the baby?"

"It's not a baby though is it, not yet"

"Really? Do you really think now is the right time to argue about semantics?"

"What are you going to do?" Dylan repeated.

"I don't know, I thought it was a decision you had a right to be involved with."

"Well I couldn't have it live with me, there isn't room on the boat, and there's no telling how Dervla would react to…"

"Dervla?"

"Yes, she's my dog..."

"I know who Dervla is Dylan, maybe I was wrong thinking I could have had an adult conversation about this with you. I could have said nothing, I could have had an abortion and not said a word to you, you'd never have known about it. I didn't though, I thought you might appreciate being told, I thought you might appreciate having a say in the matter, I thought you might actually care...how stupid was I?"

"Is everything okay in here?" Connie asked, stepping into the room after hearing raised voices.

"Fine" Dylan answered quickly.

"Oh yes, absolutely perfect." came the woman's sarcastic reply as Connie raised one eyebrow, "so perfect Dylan here thinks it's completely acceptable to put the feelings of his dog before those of the woman who's pregnant with his child" she spat, grabbing the pregnancy tests and storming out of the room before Connie even had time to react to the revelation.

"Did she…?" Connie frowned as she watched the nurse fleeing down the corridor.

"Ah, yes, that" Dylan said sheepishly, "it appears that one night, whilst we were both under the influence I erm, I may have impregnated Nurse Freeman."


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all your reviews :)

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Connie frowned as Dylan walked past her without saying another word, at first Connie thought he was going after Rita but she was wrong, Rita had headed down the corridor towards the staffroom but Dylan turned and walked out of the hospital, walking around the building until he came to an empty bench where he sat down, his head falling into his hands.

Connie meanwhile decided to go after Rita, she found both the Nurse's office and the staff room empty before finally finding Rita, slumped on the floor of a cubicle in the staff toilets, repeatedly heaving into the bowl. She used the bobble she had around her wrist to pull Rita's hair back from her face before taking a step back, "I'll go and get you some water" she said before leaving the toilets.

"Penny for them?" Zoe asked, lighting up her cigarette as she sat on the bench beside Dylan.

"Hmm?" he looked up at her having not heard a word she'd said.

"Is everything okay?"

"I erm" Dylan glanced round to make sure they were alone, "this stays between me and you?" Zoe nodded, "I erm, I've just been told I'm going to be a father."

"You...Sorry Dylan, I must have misheard you" Zoe laughed slightly.

"No, no you didn't."

"Can I ask who…?"

"Rita."

"Rita...Rita, Rita?"

"Nurse Freeman yes."

"I didn't even know the two of you were…"

"We aren't, we never were, it was one night, we'd both been drinking and…" he shrugged, "it just happened."

"Wow...what are you, I mean,has she said what she wants to do?"

"I don't know" Dylan said honestly, "she said she wanted to talk about it but I erm, I said something and she stormed off."

"What did you say?"

"I just told her that I didn't know how Dervla would react."

"Dylan."

"What?" He frowned, "I was merely pointing out that…"

"She's having your baby Dylan" Zoe emphasised, "it obviously wasn't planned, she probably wanted you to give her some support and reassurance, not tell her that you didn't think your dog would adapt to having a baby."

"I didn't say she wouldn't, I…"

"Did you even ask her how she felt about all this?"

"Well...no."

"You need to find her."

"And say what, I'm sorry that I was so drunk I forgot to use a condom and now we're going to be joined by some screaming little human for the next 18 years?"

"No, apologise for what you said earlier, blame it on the shock. Ask her how she's feeling, if she's thought about what she wants to do, if there's anything you can do. Tell her you'll be there for her, for her and the baby."

"No" Dylan said firmly as he stood up and brushed out invisible creases from his trousers, "I think it would be better for everyone concerned if I stayed out of it. It's Rita's body, it's her decision and I don't plan on screwing with that child's life the way my father did with mine, I'm sure Rita is more than capable of raising a child alone if that's what she chooses to do, now if you'll excuse me…"

"Dylan" Zoe called after him but it was no use, she knew how stubborn he could be, she knew she wouldn't be able to change his mind.

"Here" Connie passed over the water once Rita had stopped heaving, "sip it slowly, that's it" she said sympathetically, she'd had terrible morning sickness with Grace so she knew exactly how Rita was feeling, "now, let's go to my office, I think we need to talk." Rita nodded and slowly stood to her feet, steadying herself against the wall of the cubicle for a moment, flushing the toilet and washing her hands before walking down the corridor with Connie towards her office. "Do you know how far along you are?" Connie asked as she sat opposite Rita, the nurse having turned down a cup of tea, instead choosing to sip at another glass of water, hoping it would settle her stomach.

"About 11 weeks." Rita said quietly as she ran her finger around the rim of her glass.

Connie nodded, "have you, do you know what you're going to do?"

Rita shook her head, her eyes still fixed on her glass, "no, I, I only did the first test a couple of days ago, I hadn't...I wanted to talk to Dylan before I made any decisions."

"He's probably just as shocked as you are. If you want to talk to someone about your options I can..."

"Thank you" Rita interrupted, "but I'm okay, I don't want to talk to anyone, I know my options and Dylan's made it clear that he's not interested...it's my decision and it's something I think I need to do on my own."

Connie nodded, "is there anything I can do, do you need some time off?"

Rita shook her head, "I'd rather be here, I want to be busy."

Connie nodded, "as long as you're 100% sure you're fit to work."

"I am" Rita nodded as she sipped the remains of her water.

"Okay, well if you need anything you know where I am."

Rita put the glass on Connie's desk and stood up, "thank you. I'd appreciate it if this could stay between us. I don't want everyone to know. Not yet."

"Of course" Connie nodded, "what you say in here will stay in here, you know I won't gossip."

Rita nodded as she walked to the door of the office, "thank you" she said before stepping into the ward to resume her duties.

"Is everything okay?" Zoe asked Rita as they neared the end of the shift, she couldn't help but notice how pale and tired the nurse looked.

Rita nodded and ran her hand through her hair, "nothing a long soak in the bath and a large glass of wine won't solve" she said, holding back a yawn and instead forcing a smile she hoped looked somewhat genuine.

"Do you really think you should be drinking?"

Rita froze, "I beg your pardon."

"I mean with the…" she gestured to Rita's stomach.

Rita's gaze fell to her own stomach, "has Dylan…" she willed the tears forming in her eyes not to fall.

"He's scared, confused, he just said that…"

"So he can talk to you about it but not to me? Does he not think that I'm scared and confused too? Has it never occurred to him that this was just as much as a shock to me as it was to him." Rita shook her head, "who else has he told? Who else knows?"

"Nobody, and you know I won't say anything, but if you need to talk…"

"I don't" Rita snapped, "the only person I wanted to talk to about this obviously doesn't want to talk to me about it so I'll just do it on my own, I don't even know why I bothered to tell him" she whispered, turning to leave as her tears finally began to roll down her cheeks.

"Rita?" She was so busy wiping at her eyes and trying to pull herself together that she didn't notice Dixie until she'd bumped straight into her, "what's wrong Darlin'?"

Rita completely broke down as she was enveloped in a familiar embrace, Dixie's arms holding her closely, "it's such a mess Dix" she sobbed, "I've been so stupid."

"Hey" Dixie pulled Rita closer, "I'm sure it's not that bad, whatever it is I'm sure we can sort it, it can't be worth getting yourself this worked up about, do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant Dix" Rita whispered so quietly the paramedic barely heard her, "I'm bloody pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

I can't sleep so I've finished off the next update. I'm a little bit overwhelmed by all the reviews, I never expected this fic to be so popular. I've got a vague idea of where things are going but if there's anything you'd like to see please let me know and I'll try and fit it in somewhere :) x

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Almost two weeks passed where Rita's pregnancy wasn't mentioned, she and Dylan retained a professional relationship when necessary although both prefered to work with other members of the staff where possible.

Rita was doing her best to conceal her pregnancy, and, even though she felt like she was constantly fighting back the urge to vomit, she seemed to be keeping the news a secret, the only people that knew were Dylan, Connie, Zoe and Dixie, all of whom were discretely making sure the nurse didn't do anything too strenuous.

"Come in" Connie looked up from her laptop when she heard a tap on her office door, "Rita" she frowned as she saw the nurse stood in her doorway, "I didn't think you were in today."

"I'm not" Rita said as she stepped into the office and clicked the door shut behind her, "well not to work anyway."

"What do you mean?" Connie frowned as she gestured for Rita to sit in the chair opposite her.

"I had an appointment upstairs" Rita admitted, "in maternity, for a dating scan."

Connie nodded, "and is everything okay?"

Rita nodded, "yeah, everything's fine, I had my booking appointment with my midwife last week, I erm, I've decided I'm going to keep the baby."

Connie nodded, again, "okay, how far along are you? Have you thought about your maternity leave yet?"

"I'm 14 weeks" Rita said softly, "and I haven't given it too much thought just yet, I think I'd like to keep working for as long as I can though."

"Okay" Connie nodded, she could hardly argue she'd done the same, "well if you think of a rough time when you'd like your leave to start we can always adjust it if you change your mind, you might feel okay to work now but you might change your mind in a few months time."

Rita nodded, "thank you."

"How are you feeling now, do you want to stick to light duties? Cubicles and minor injuries?"

Rita shook her head, "I think I'm okay to carry on as normal for the time being, I'm going to start telling people too, I'll tell Charlie and Tess in the morning and then" she shrugged, "I don't think I'm going to make a big announcement but I won't deny it if anyone asks."

Connie nodded, "okay, well if there's anything I can do…" she was interrupted by a knock on the door, "yes?"

"There's been a majax on the motorway" Charlie said as he stepped into the office, "the casualties are being brought here, there's at least 8 serious and 20 walking wounded, Noel and Louise are starting to clear the minor injuries from reception."

"Thank you" Connie nodded, "I'm on my way."

"Do you want an extra pair of hands? I've not got anywhere else to be" Rita asked, looking from Connie to Charlie.

Charlie frowned slightly, he hadn't even noticed Rita was there, "it would be a help."

Connie nodded, "as long as you feel up to it. And you take a break if you need to."

Charlie frowned again, "is there something I need to know?"

Rita nodded, "I was going to tell you when I came in in the morning..."

"I'll go and make sure everyone else is prepared" Connie said, leaving the room to give Charlie and Rita some privacy.

"Tell me what?" Charlie asked as he stepped away from the door to let Connie out.

"I'm pregnant" Rita cut straight to the chase, "14 weeks, I'd have told you sooner only I wasn't sure what I was going to do" she began to ramble, "but I had my dating scan today and everything's looking good so…"

Charlie couldn't help but smile as he embraced Rita in a tight hug, "congratulations" he smiled, "I had no idea."

"I don't know why" Rita smiled softly as she returned the hug, "I feel like I've spent more time in the toilets throwing up than I've spent in the department over the last couple of weeks."

Charlie chuckled slightly, "well, you know where I am if you need anything."

Rita nodded, "thank you, I should go and get changed if I'm going to help."

"Of course" Charlie nodded, "just be carefull out there, no one will judge you for taking a step back."

"I'll be fine Charlie, don't worry about me."

"I'm promising nothing" Charlie said with a chuckle, opening the door for Rita so she could go and get changed.

Rita changed into her scrubs and opened her locker to place her clothes inside. She carefully put her handbag on top of her jeans and tshirt and smiled softly as she saw the corner of a white envelope peeking from the top of the bag. She checked she was alone before slipping the fuzzy pictures from the envelope, unable to keep the smile from her face, even now she'd seen the grainy black and white images she still struggled to believe that there was an actual baby growing inside her, she still couldn't believe that, in just a few short months time, she was going to be a Mummy. She glanced at Dylan's locker and took a deep breath before taking a pen from her bag, scribbling her due date on the back of one of the images she pushed it through the gap into his locker before locking her own copy of the picture safely in her own locker, "come on Freeman" she mumbled under her breath as she stood against the cool metal and took another deep breath, "you've got a job to do."

She stepped out of the staff room just in time to see the first casualty being brought into the department and quickly fell into step beside her colleagues as the paramedics reeled off the information they had about the patient, one of the drivers involved in the accident. She was so busy listening to the details that she didn't realise which doctor she'd be working with, not until he spoke, "Rita, are you okay to be in here?" Dylan asked, "I can get someone else if you'd rather be in cubicles?" he didn't look Rita in the eye as he helped move the patient from the trolley to the bed.

"I'm fine" Rita told him as she began to assess the patient and attach the various monitors, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could manage."

"Yes, well, if you change your mind…"

"I'll be the first to let you know."

Rita yawned slightly as she pulled off her gloves several hours later once the last patient had been taken up to theatre. "We're going to the pub" Robyn told Rita as Rita walked out of resus, "fancy it?"

Rita shook her head, "Not tonight, I'm ready for my bed."

"Come on" Robyn encouraged, "we can wait for you to get changed, just come for one, Tess has said the first round's on her."

"I'm going to give it a miss" Rita said, "sorry, you enjoy yourself though" she smiled before walking off into the staff room to change out of her scrubs.

"You erm, you did well today" Dylan came into the staff room as Rita was on her way out, "I erm…"

"I was just doing my job" Rita said as she pushed her bag back onto her shoulder.

"Yes, well…"

"Rita, are you coming for a drink?" Lofty asked as he saw the nurse stood in the doorway to the staffroom.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Rita mumbled, slipping past Dylan and walking over to Lofty, "not tonight, I'm going to go home and have an early night."

"Aww, come on, just one" he tried to encourage her, "Tess is buying."

"I'm not erm, I'm not really drinking at the moment" she said as they approached the other staff who were all waiting by the door, Rita seized the moment, "I'm not drinking because I'm pregnant."

"What?" Robyn gasped, pulling her friend into a hug, "congratulations."

Rita felt her face flush as everyone began to congratulate her and she was pulled into an almost suffocating group hug, "What's going on here then?" Tess asked as she walked over to the group of doctors and nurses.

"You can't say no to a drink now" Cal told Rita, "not when we're celebrating."

"What are we celebrating?" Tess asked, "this sounds expensive."

"I was going to tell you in the morning" Rita told Tess when she was finally released from the hug, "I didn't want you to be the last to know."

"The last to know what?" Tess frowned.

"I'm pregnant, 14 weeks. I wanted to wait until I'd had my first scan, until I was sure everything was okay before I said anything" she decided to keep the fact she'd had doubts about keeping the baby to herself.

Tess couldn't help but smile, "and I take it everything's okay?"

Rita nodded, "I had my scan this morning, 10 little fingers and toes, everything's perfect."

"Well congratulations" Tess hugged Rita, "looks like the champagne...and the orange juices are on me."

Dylan meanwhile had found the scan photo, it had fluttered to the floor when he'd opened his locker, he'd spent a moment looking at the blurry image before going after Rita, stepping into the corridor just in time to see Rita announce her pregnancy, just in time to hear the cheers of congratulations as the nurse was engulfed in a hug by her friends, all wanting to share in her joy. He glanced down at the picture still clutched in his hands before looking up as Tess wrapped her arms around Rita, his eyes met hers for a split second and it was in that tiny moment Dylan felt his heart break, it was in that second Dylan realised that choosing to walk out of his child's life was quite possibly the worst decision he'd ever made and as he turned to walk back into the staffroom Rita swore she saw unshed tears shining in Dylan's eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm sorry I've taken so long to update this, I had a massive writer's block and no idea where to take it but I've got some more ideas now & I feel like I've been writing none stop for the past few days so hopefully it shouldn't be too long before the next update. I'd love to know if anyone's still interested in reading this.

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Several weeks passed in which Dylan and Rita spoke to each other only when it concerned a patient, they were professional during their shifts, but once they were finished they each went to their own homes and didn't speak again until the next time they had to treat a patient together.

It was for this reason that Dylan was surprised to find Rita approach him in the staffroom one evening after their shifts, "can I have a word?" she asked and Dylan simply nodded in response as he shrugged on his coat. "I've got an appointment with my midwife tomorrow morning, I know it's short notice and it might be a bit boring but you erm, you're welcome to come if you want to." She'd made the decision that it would be Dylan's choice whether or not he was a part of the baby's life, she'd give him opportunities but it would be his choice to involve himself or not.

"I'm working" he told her, "as you say it's very short notice so I won't be able to get the time off. I erm, I hope everything goes well though" he said before nodding curtly at Rita, picking up his bag and walking from the room before she could even tell him Connie had already agreed to let him have the time off.

"You alright?" Dixie bumped into Rita as she walked out of the staffroom.

"Yeah" she nodded, "you?"

"Yeah, I was just looking for you actually, I wondered if you fancied a night in round mine? Takeaway, couple of crap films, I might even treat you to some non-alcoholic wine."

Rita nodded, "yeah okay, on two conditions."

"Shoot."

"We go to mine so I can get my pyjamas" Dixie nodded, "and you let me crash in your spare room so I don't have to drive home later when I'm knackered."

Dixie laughed and slung her arm around Rita's shoulder as they walked out of the department, "I think you've got yourself a deal there, and if you're lucky I might even let you choose which takeaway we order from"

"Dix" Rita said softly as she sat curled on Dixie's sofa in her pyjamas later that evening, "can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can Darl', what is it?" Dixie came over and passed Rita a mug of tea.

"Will you be there? I mean when I have the baby, will you be there with me?"

"You want me to be your birth partner?"

Rita nodded, "yeah."

"I, I'd be honoured Rita, are you sure though, what about Dylan?"

"I trust you, I know that if you say you'll be there then you'll be there. I don't think Dylan's bothered" she whispered, "I told him I've got an antenatal appointment tomorrow, I told him he could come, he wouldn't even think it, he didn't even ask for the hour off he just said he wouldn't be able to come, I mean if he asked, if he asked and got told he couldn't have the time off then I'd understand" she whispered, tears filling her eyes, "but he didn't ask and when I told Connie I needed the time off she told me, she said if Dylan wanted to come she'd cover for him herself. I just...I want the baby to have a father, I don't want him or her thinking they were all some big mistake but Dylan just acts like he's not interested, I don't know if I can do it Dix, I, I want to give him the chance, I don't want to be the one to shut him out but I don't know if I can keep doing this. I don't want him letting the baby down."

"If he's not there, he's going to be the one that misses out" Dixie said softly as she held Rita close before asking, "do you want me to come? Tomorrow I mean?"

Rita shook her head, "you don't have to."

"I will though, if you want me to be there."

"Can you get the time off? I know it's short notice…"

"I'll fix it Darlin' don't you worry about it, what time?"

"10.30."

"Perfect" Dixie smiled, "I'm not on shift til 12, I'll meet you in the staffroom?"

Rita nodded and wiped at the tears that had fallen from her eyes, "thank you."

Dixie smiled and gently laid her hand on Rita's stomach, "anything for my little niece or nephew."

Rita smiled softly as she felt Dixie's hand gently stroking her stomach, "We'll find out in a couple of weeks, you can come to the scan if you want, if you can get time off?"

"Of course I can" Dixie nodded, "write down your appointments for me and I'll sort it, I said you wouldn't have to do this on your own Rita, I meant that."

Rita nodded and dropped her head onto her friend's shoulder, "we're lucky to have you Dix."

Dixie smiled softly, "I get to be cool Auntie Dix, I'm the lucky one" she said softly before telling Rita, "I've already started buying things, I'm going to spoil this little one rotten."

"Really?" Rita chuckled, "can I see what you've got?"

"Yeah" Dixie smiled, "I'll go get them, there's plenty of time for me to buy more surprises" she laughed, kissing her fingers and placing them on Rita's stomach before heading off upstairs, returning a few minutes later with a large mothercare bag, "here you go."

Dixie placed the bag on the sofa beside Rita and Rita felt her eyes fill with tears as she began looking through the bag, "Oh Dix" she whispered as she pulled out a bear, it's brown fur the softest thing Rita had ever felt in her life, "thank you" she whispered, "thank you so much" she said as she carefully sat the bear on the sofa beside a Dumbo vest and matching sleepsuit.

"You don't need to thank me Darlin' just wait until I find out if it's a boy or girl, you won't be able to move for all the stuff I'll buy" she winked, "that's my favourite" she grinned as she saw Rita pull a picture book from the bag.

"Please don't dance in my ambulance" Rita laughed as she read the title, "Dix… I don't know what to say."

"That you love it all."

"I do" Rita beamed, "I absolutely do, I haven't bought anything yet, I mean I've looked at things but…"

Dixie squeezed Rita's hand, "you've got plenty of time, you're only 15, 16 weeks?"

"16" Rita nodded.

"There we are then, you've got plenty of time to get everything you need and I don't mind coming with you to carry all the bags when you're ready to get everything."

"You're the best Dix, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Dixie smiled and put the baby things back in the bag so she could put it on the floor and sit back beside Rita, "you'd do exactly what you're doing now, you'd get on with things, you'd do what you need to do and be an amazing Mummy to that little one. I get that you want him or her to know Dylan, but if they don't… half the ED have got their name down to be aunties and uncles. If Dylan decides fatherhood isn't for him, well there are still going to be so many people willing to support you and love that little baby. You're not on your own Rita, I can't promise you much but I can promise you that."


	5. Chapter 5

Wow, I am actually overwhelmed by your reviews, I wasn't going to update again until the weekend but your reviews have made me want to do it sooner. I didn't think anyone would still be interested in reading this fic, but I'm so glad you are. There's a reason Dylan is acting like he is which will be revealed very soon, and Tanith Panic, you asked about Lofty's reaction, I'd already written most of this chapter but there'll be some Dyfty friendship in the next chapter which I hope you'll like.

Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Oh, and my medical knowledge has been learnt from watching Casualty and searching google, so might not be 100% accurate.

I'm sorry for anyone who gets alerts for this fic, I uploaded it earlier but the formatting went all weird so I deleted it until I had chance to fix it. Fingers crossed it works this time!

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Dylan looked up from treating his patient as the doors to resus were flung open and Max ran in carrying a lifeless body, Zoe close behind shouting orders to Robyn and Lofty who followed her into the room, "Robyn, call obs and warn them that we might be sending her up then get me the ultrasound, Lofty I want IV access and her vitals, check her blood sugar too."

Dylan watched as Max laid the limp body carefully on the bed, a single word falling from his lips, "Rita"

"Can we get some screens up, give Rita a bit of privacy please?" Zoe asked, nodding in acknowledgement as some nurses did as she asked.

"Blood sugar's 3.1" Lofty told Zoe, BP's 85 over 60 and her pulse is 90, I've got a line in, do you want me to give her some fluids? She looks a bit dehydrated."

Zoe nodded, "give her a litre of saline with 5% glucose, see if we can get her blood sugar up a bit too, from what I was told she was being sick just before she passed out so that would explain why she's dehydrated, thank you" Zoe nodded as Robyn brought over the ultrasound machine, "can one of you send off for a full blood analysis, I don't want to miss anything."

Lofty nodded, "I'll do the bloods"

"I'll phone obs" Robyn nodded, "do you know how far along she is?"

"About 16 weeks I think" Zoe said as she pushed up the top of Rita's uniform to reveal the small swell of her stomach.

"Nurse Miller" Dylan called Robyn as she walked over to the phone.

"Yes Doctor Keogh?"

"It's 18, she's 18 weeks."

Robyn nodded, "thank you."

It didn't take long for the glucose to work and Rita slowly began to regain consciousness. The first thing she felt was a coolness and a slight pressure on her stomach, "what…" she frowned and reached out to touch her stomach only to feel a tug on the back of her hand, "what the…"

"You're okay." Zoe said softly as she moved Rita's hand away from her stomach, "you passed out in the toilets."

"I..I"

"You're quite dehydrated" Zoe explained, "we're giving you some fluids, when did you last eat Rita?"

"I, I can't remember" she mumbled, "I can't, I keep being sick." Rita closed her eyes again as her stomach churned again, "I, I'm going to…"

Lofty saw the colour drain from Rita's face and grabbed a cardboard bowl just in time, "you're okay" he said softly, rubbing Rita's back as she continued to heave.

"How long has this been going on for?" Zoe asked softly as she watched Rita continue to heave even though there was obviously nothing left in her stomach to bring up.

Rita shrugged, "a few weeks, a month. I started throwing up a couple of weeks after I found out I was pregnant."

"Has it always been this bad?" Rita shook her head as she collapsed back against the bed, "do you think it's getting worse?" Rita nodded and Zoe sighed quietly, "why didn't you say something?" she asked softly as she asked Lofty to administer a dose of a drug to help with Rita's sickness.

"It's just morning sickness, most pregnant women get it" Rita whispered.

"Rita" Zoe said softly as she saw the nurse's eyes fill with tears, "you know this isn't 'just' morning sickness, you don't have to deal with everything on your own, we're all here for you, you should have said something, I'll get you a prescription for something to help you."

"Thank you" Rita whispered, "is, is the baby okay?"

Zoe nodded, "perfect" she smiled before turning back to the ultrasound machine she'd been using when Rita had come round, "here you go" she placed the wand back on Rita's bump to put her mind at rest, "one baby with a nice strong heartbeat. I can't see anything wrong but I'm going to ask someone from maternity to come down just to double check."

Rita smiled softly as she gazed at the screen, "thank you" she whispered, allowing Zoe to raise the head of the bed so she could sit up.

"It's okay" Zoe smiled, "I'm going to get you something to help with the sickness, you stay there and take it easy whilst we get some fluids back into you, I won't be long but just yell if you need anything."

Rita was laid on the bed, her eyes closed and one hand gently tracing patterns on her stomach with her fingertips. She jumped slightly when she heard someone clear their throat and slowly opened her eyes to find Dylan stood by the bed, "I erm" he ran his hand over his chin nervously, "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Rita smiled softly, "we're okay" she nodded, "I've been sick quite a lot and Zoe thinks I'm dehydrated, she's going to get me something to stop me being sick. Zoe did an ultrasound and she thinks the baby's fine but someone's coming down from maternity just to make sure."

Dylan nodded, "is there, can I get you anything?"

Rita shook her head before frowning slightly, "I erm, I could do with going to the ladies."

"Right, shall I get Zoe or…"

Rita shook her head, "I think I could manage if you can just help me up."

"Right, yes, okay" Dylan helped Rita to sit up on the edge of the bed before putting his hands on her waist to steady her as she stood from the bed and stumbled slightly, "are you sure you don't want me to get…"

Rita shook her head, "no, no, I can manage" she reached out to take hold of the drip stand and took a shaky step forward, still feeling weak after being sick so much.

"Well, you obviously can't" Dylan said bluntly, putting his arm around Rita's waist to support her as she walked from resus towards the toilets, "I erm, I'll wait here" he said as he stood outside the ladies staff toilets.

Luckily he saw Robyn bounding over, "you're looking better" she told Rita as she held the door open for the nurse before looking up at Dylan, "I'll get her back to resus if you're busy" she told him with a smile.

"Yes, that would be very good" Dylan said, feeling slightly awkward in Rita's presence, "I erm" he gestured in the general direction of the ward, "yes, I'll be…" he didn't bother finishing his sentence before he walked off.

By the time Rita made it back to resus with Robyn, Dylan had left a sandwich, a bar of chocolate and a bottle of orange juice on the bed, knowing Rita needed to eat something, "someone's looking out for you" Robyn smiled as she helped Rita back into the bed and checked she had everything she needed.

"Yeah" Rita nodded as she looked at the food, "I guess they are."

Despite Rita's protests, Zoe decided to keep her under observation for the rest of her shift, she wasn't stupid, Rita knew Zoe had only done it to make sure she got some rest, but resting was boring. She'd been moved to cubicles after her second scan, but the curtains had been pulled closed, assuming she wanted privacy, it was too noisy to sleep and there wasn't much else to do. She was grateful when Robyn decided to spend her break in the cubicle with her, the young nurse bringing several glossy celebrity news magazines for Rita along with a blueberry muffin and a decaffeinated latte.

She'd had a visit from Lofty and, not long after he'd left, Connie had come to see how she was doing. The pair had called a truce since Rita had announced her pregnancy, and Connie had been an unlikely source of support for Rita. "Why didn't you tell any of us how you were feeling?" she asked, she hadn't had the easiest of pregnancies with Grace so she could understand how the nurse was feeling.

Rita shrugged slightly, "I thought it was just morning sickness, I didn't want to make a fuss."

"You work in an ED" Connie said softly, "nobody would mind if you told them you were feeling ill, the people you work with are more than just your colleagues Rita, promise me that if you're ever feeling 'off' in the future you'll come to me if you don't want to ask anyone else to check you over, even if you think all you need is to sit down with a cuppa for 10 minutes."

Rita nodded, "I will."

Connie smiled, "nobody will think any less of you if you need to take things a bit easier, they're all worried about you, about both of you, you're a good nurse and I've no doubt you'll be an excellent mother but you don't have to be superwoman, if you need help, if you need to take a step back then say something, everyone will understand" she glanced at her watch, "I've got a meeting to get to now, but you know where I am if you need anything" she said, not giving Rita chance to reply before she walked off to her meeting.

Rita managed to get a little bit of sleep before Zoe came to discharge her at the end of her shift, the doctor telling her to take things easy for the next couple of days and to let her know if the pills didn't help settle the nausea. She thanked Zoe and slowly made her way to the staffroom to get changed, her mind wandering to the news she'd received about the baby earlier that day, news she thought it was only fair Dylan knew too so before she left she'd simply tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a small piece of paper, a sheet of paper he unfolded once Rita had gone to find just 3 words printed in the nurse's neat script ' _It's a girl_ '


	6. Chapter 6

I've had to get up early to wait for a delivery so I thought I might as well make myself useful and update :)

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Rita couldn't tell you what, but something changed between her and Dylan after she'd collapsed, they still barely spoke and hardly spent any time in each other's presence unless they absolutely had to, but she still felt like something had changed. She'd see him watching her as she worked, offering to help if she was struggling with a patient, and, on the days where she was rushed off her feet, she'd find herself walking into her office, desperate for five minutes to herself, only to find Dylan would have left her dinner on her desk to be sure she ate something.

She'd kept him up to date like she'd told herself she would, she left notes in his locker after her antenatal appointments, letting him know how their daughter was developing and she'd given him a copy of her 20 week scan, a note on the back confirming once again that the baby was, most definitely, a girl.

Dylan had taken the notes home, placed them safely in the drawer by his bed with the first scan picture he'd been given. The more recent one lived on his bedside table. He spent hours gazing at it, wishing he had the strength to step up, wishing things were different but they weren't, and no matter how much he wanted to be the baby's father, he knew it was better for everyone concerned if he was just a doctor at the hospital where the baby's mother worked. Little did Dylan know, the whole department was soon to find out exactly why he didn't want to be a father.

It started off as a normal day in the ED, two people brought in by the paramedics, the older male had been driving when he'd lost consciousness and hit a tree, injuring himself and the younger woman he'd had in the passenger seat. Rita had walked over to meet the paramedics, taking the female patient with Zoe, Dylan and Charlie taking the male but Dylan took one look at the man and froze, "I erm, Zoe, you need to switch patients, I can't...I can't treat this man."

Zoe frowned, "why not?"

"He erm, he's my father."

"Right, okay" Zoe had tried to hide her shock as she swapped patients, leaving Rita to reel off the woman's information to Dylan. They took the woman into the smaller of the two resus rooms, separating her from the male, something that made Dylan's anxiety about the situation decrease rapidly. He and Rita remained professional as they treated the woman's injuries which, luckily, turned out to be mostly superficial cuts and bruises.

It was down to Dylan however, to inform the woman that her blood tests had shown she was pregnant, a baby that would be his own half-sibling. He'd delivered the news before going out for some fresh air, trying to get his head around everything that had happened today leaving Rita to deal with the patient.

"How far along are you?" she asked the nurse.

Rita's hand instantly went to her stomach, "23 weeks" she smiled softly before returning to the task she was doing before her baby was mentioned.

"Do you know what you're having?"

"A girl" Rita nodded as she checked the woman's blood pressure.

"Nice" she said softly, falling silent for a while before asking, "what about the dad, is he...is he around?"

"It's complicated" Rita said simply, "he's around but he's not really...involved. I think he's starting to come round to the idea so I guess I'll just have to wait and see."

"But if he doesn't...you'll still raise her, on your own?"

"Yeah" Rita nodded, "I'm not expecting it to be easy but…" she trailed off as she heard yelling in reception, "just excuse me for a minute."

She made her way into reception to find Dylan's father screaming at his son, the pair had bumped into each other as Dylan returned to the department after getting some fresh air "...is it any wonder I left, look at you, you're nothing more than a stupid waste of space, you can't even look me in the eye can you? How did you even qualify as a doctor? You're a mess, you disgust me, what sort of man are you if…"

"That is enough" Rita bellowed, louder than anyone had ever heard her before, "now Mr Carroll, you either get back to your bed, or if you've been discharged you get out of this hospital."

"I am not…"

"Either you walk out of that door on your own two feet or I get security to drag you out, it's your choice, I don't care what your relationship is, you do not speak to staff members like that."

"What the hell is going on here?" Connie stalked over, hands on hips, wanting to know what all the fuss was about.

"Mr Carroll here was just leaving." Rita told Connie firmly, "but he might need security to show him the way to the door.

Connie looked over at a security guard who was stood nearby, not impressed that he'd let the pregnant nurse deal with the situation instead of stopping it himself, "Well?" Connie raised one eyebrow, "you heard her, get him out of my department." She waited until the security guard had dragged Dylan's father from reception before turning to Rita, "are you okay?"

Rita nodded, "I erm, I should probably check Dylan's alright… that's his father" she explained. Dylan had shown no emotion, he'd simply stood silently, his head bowed as his father had screamed at him before sneaking away once Connie had arrived.

Connie nodded, "tell Dylan to take as long as he needs to get himself together" she said, letting Rita go in search of him before demanding to know why the rest of the staff had just stood back and let Rita deal with Dylan's father.

It didn't take long for Rita to find Dylan, sat on the sofa in the staffroom, his head held in his hands. "Well there you are" he whispered as he noticed Rita sit beside him, "now you know why I can't be a father to your child. That is exactly how I'll turn out and I won't do that to her, I'm not going to put her through that."

"Dylan" Rita said softly, reaching out to take his hand, "you're not like him, you're not any of the things he told you you were. He hasn't been there, how would he know the sort of man you are? You're a good doctor, you've diagnosed patients Connie's struggled to diagnose, you're kind, caring, you're passionate about the things you believe in and I think our daughter would be lucky to have you in her life. And I don't want you to be her father..."

"You, you don't?" Dylan asked as he felt his heart sink, Rita had already realised the baby was better off without him.

"I don't want you to be her father, you already are her father, I want you to be her dad, her daddy. I want you to read her bedtime stories and check for monsters under her bed. I want her to be able to come to you when she wants to learn to ride her bike. I want to watch her playing in the park with Dervla when she's older." Rita gently placed Dylan's hand on her swollen stomach so he could feel the baby squirming under her skin, "she's only here because you're her father, and I think she would be a very lucky little girl if you'd allow yourself to be her daddy."

"I don't know if I can" Dylan said honestly.

Rita nodded, "Well you've got plenty of time to think about it, I don't want to be harsh but I'd like to know either way before she's born. You don't have to be at the birth or anything but if you do want to be her daddy you need to be there from the beginning. My parents weren't great either" she confessed, "and I want her to have better, I want her to have the stable upbringing I never had. I'll never push you out of her life but if you want to be her Daddy then that's what you need to be but if you don't..." Rita shrugged, "I won't force you to see her, I won't hound you for money. It's your choice Dylan, and I don't know if my opinion means anything to you but I think, if you let yourself be a part of her life, you might just be surprised at how good you are at being a Dad."

Dylan nodded, "I'll think about it."

"Thank you" Rita smiled, "I'm going to get back to work, but if you need anything… Connie said to take as long as you need."

Dylan nodded again as Rita stood to leave, "thank you."

Dylan was left alone with his own thoughts for a while before he heard the staffroom door click open and someone sit down beside him, "I saw what happened in reception" Lofty said softly, "I erm, I just wondered if you were alright?"

"Rita's baby" Dylan said quietly, "it's mine."

"Yeah" Lofty nodded, "I'd heard some gossip but…" he shrugged, "it's between you and Rita."

"She wants me to be involved but I can't" Dylan never knew why he found himself so able to trust Lofty, he'd never really trusted anyone but Lofty, he seemed able to break down all the walls Dylan had ever built.

"Can't or won't?" he asked softly.

"That man was my father. I can't risk exposing Rita's baby to that. If I turn out to be like him… that's not going to be fair on the baby, I know how awful it was to grow up with him. She'd be better off with Rita than having to put up with a father like me, like him."

"Dylan" Lofty said softly, "he's the reason you won't be like that, you know what it's like to have a father like him so you'll do everything you can to be the opposite, you know what it's like for him to make you feel the way he makes you feel so you'll go out of your way to make sure you never make your daughter feel like that. I think you'd make a good father."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean you and Rita, you're sort of opposites personality wise so you'll be a good team, there'll be things that Rita's better at than you and there'll be things you do better than Rita. I get that you must be scared, but you can only do your best. I'm sure Rita would agree with me. As long as you're trying to be a good dad and the little one's happy then that's all that really matters."

"What if she's crazy like me?"

"You're not crazy" Lofty replied quickly as he tried to think how he could word his response and not upset Dylan, "mental health problems are common, you know that as well as I do" he said calmly, "and if your daughter does struggle with OCD, or anxiety or any sort of mental health disorder, don't you think you'd be the perfect person to help her through it? I mean anyone can tell her it'll be okay but you've been there, you'll be able to share your experiences with her, you'll be able to talk about how far you've come, your experience will only help her."

"So you think I should do it? Be involved."

"Yeah" Lofty nodded, "look at it this way, if you're there, if you're her Dad and then something happens and it doesn't work out, at least you know you've tried. Imagine how you'd feel, working here, seeing that little girl grow up knowing you could have been a part of it. I think you should talk to Rita, she'll understand why you're worried, you need to talk it through with her and see what she says, it's new for both of you, she's probably just as scared about messing up as you are."

Dylan nodded, "I'll speak to her."

"Good" Lofty nodded as he stood up, gently squeezing Dylan's shoulder, knowing he wouldn't want a hug, "congratulations" he smiled before leaving Dylan alone with his thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

_I'm thinking about doing something a little bit different in the next couple of chapters and exploring more about how Rita & Dylan feel about becoming parents. I'm thinking about Rita talking to Dixie and Zoe talking to Dylan, is that something you'd all be interested in reading or would you rather I jut carried the fic on as it is?_

* * *

"Do you have a minute?" Dylan asked nervously as he walked into the staffroom to find Rita getting her things together at the end of her shift a few days after their conversation in the staff room.

"Yeah" she nodded, "I have, why?"

"I erm, I got you this" Dylan fumbled with his own locker key before finally opening it and handing Rita a pink gift bag, "well, I didn't get it for you, I got it for…" his eyes drifted to Rita's stomach, "and well it's not much but I didn't know what you've already got so if you let me know what you need I can get it or I can just give you some money or…"

"Dylan" Rita interrupted, you're rambling" she said as she placed the gift bag in her own open locker so she could open it, "thank you" she smiled as she took out a large cream rabbit with pink floral fabric sewn on the bottom of it's hands and feet and a white sleepsuit covered in tiny pink stars.

"It's erm,it's 0-3 months, the woman in the shop said newborn might not fit for long if she's big."

Rita smiled and nodded, she knew this was Dylan's attempt at a peace offering, a way of trying to build a bridge between them, "thank you Dylan, I'm sure she'll love it, I'll put this in her cot as soon as I find the time to put it together" she said, still holding the rabbit.

"I could help if you'd like? I mean you probably shouldn't...not in your condition."

Rita rolled her eyes and chuckled, "I'd appreciate that, thank you."

"This weekend maybe?" Rita nodded, "is everything okay?" Dylan asked when he saw her rub her stomach.

Rita nodded again, "yeah, she's just…" she thought for a moment, "do you want to feel her kicking?"

Rita swore she saw Dylan's face light up, "I erm...would that be okay?" Rita said nothing but gently took Dylan's wrist, laying his palm against the side of her slightly swollen stomach where he could feel the baby wriggling away, "is that."

"That's your daughter" Rita said softly.

"It's...wow" Dylan was lost for words.

Rita nodded, "yeah, it is"

The week passed quickly and it was a little after 10am on Saturday morning when Rita opened her door to find Dylan stood on her doorstep, "I bought these with me" he gestured to the screwdrivers he held in his hand, "I didn't know if we'd need them, for the cot, I've come to put it together for you" he clarified.

Rita smiled, "come in, I'll put the kettle on."

"Thank you" Dylan nodded, slipping off his shoes once he'd stepped into the house and following Rita into her large kitchen where he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"You can sit down if you want, you don't have to stand there all day" Rita could feel the awkward tension in the air but, for her daughter's sake, she tried to push it aside and be friendly towards Dylan, "here we are, tea, milk one sugar" she said as she put the mug down in front of Dylan as he sat at the table.

"You erm, the baby she's…" Dylan gestured towards Rita's stomach, their shift patterns meant it had been just 4 days since he'd last seen Rita but in those four days, her slightly curved stomach had changed into a rather obvious baby bump.

"Yeah" Rita ran her hand over the swell of her stomach, "she's grown, I don't really know where this came from, I'm just glad my maternity uniform's already waiting for me, I think I'll need it on Monday."

"I suppose it's a good sign" Dylan pondered as he sipped at his tea, "that she's growing well."

Rita nodded and smiled, "yeah, I guess it is."

They finished their drinks in near silence before Rita lead Dylan up the stairs and into the largest of her two spare bedrooms, three of the walls had been painted a soft turquoise blue and the wall furthest from the door had been covered in a blue floral wallpaper, "I didn't want pink" Rita said as she saw Dylan taking in the room.

"It's very nice" he nodded, "did you do it yourself?"

"Dixie helped" Rita nodded, "anything that involved a stepladder was her job, she 'helped' with the shopping too" she laughed, gesturing to the boxes and bags that littered the room.

Dylan nodded, "where would you like me to start?"

"Well there's the wardrobe, drawers, a changing unit and her cot that need putting together, don't feel like you have to do it all though, I'm sure Dixie will help me with the rest.

"Yes, well" Dylan rolled up the sleeves on his shirt, "let's make a start and see what we can get done shall we?"

It was a little before 6 when Dylan finished building the cot, the wardrobe, drawers and changing unit already placed exactly where Rita wanted them, "thank you" Rita smiled as she accepted Dylan's hand to help her from where she'd been sat on the floor passing him the required parts.

"Are you keeping this in here or…?"

Rita nodded, "I think so, I've been reading about the benefits of co-sleeping so I think I'm going to get a moses basket or something for in my room, I'm not confident enough to have her in my bed with me."

"That sounds like a sensible idea" Dylan said, easily placing the cot against the featured wall, "I erm, I could buy it if you'd like?" he offered, "or give you the money, I mean you've already…"

Rita smiled softly, "you can buy her a Moses basket if you'd like" she said gently, "but you don't have to."

"No" Dylan said firmly, "no, I will."

"Thank you" Rita smiled before her stomach rumbled loudly, "do you want to stay for dinner?" she offered, "it'll probably just be pasta or something, I don't mind if you have to get off."

"No, no" Dylan shook his head as he picked up the instructions for assembling the cot and placed them neatly on the windowsill with the others, "I erm, I'd like that."

Rita couldn't help but feel pleased as she got into bed later that evening, they hadn't really spoken about the baby but Dylan had at least acknowledged her existence, he'd helped with the nursery and even offered to buy something for her, in Rita's opinion that was a big step forward.

She was already in her pyjamas when he knocked on her door at almost 8 the next evening, "Dylan, Hi, is everything okay?"

Dylan nodded, "I just wanted to bring this round" he said, handing over a large, traditional style Moses basket that looked to be filled with more sheets and blankets than Rita thought the baby would ever need.

"It's gorgeous Dylan, thank you" Rita gasped, she'd seen that exact Moses basket when she'd been shopping with Dixie and she was surprised Dylan had spent so much.

"There's a stand there too" he placed the box in the doorway, "it should be quite simple to put together but if you need any help I can… or you can ask Dixie..."

Rita smiled and nodded, "thank you".

"There erm, there's something else" Dylan told Rita, "I just couldn't carry everything, I'll go and fetch it from the car."

"What's that?" Rita frowned as she tried to get a look at the box Dylan had just placed at the bottom of her stairs.

"It's a co-sleeping crib" Dylan said nervously, "I hope you don't mind, after what you said yesterday...co-sleeping has a lot of potential benefits, you're right, so erm, I got you this so you can do it safely. It's like a normal crib only you can fold one of the sides away and have it right against your bed so she'll be sleeping with you but she'll be safe in her own crib, if you don't like it I've got the receipt and…"

"Oh Dylan" Rita burst into tears at the gesture, "sorry" she wiped at her eyes, "I love it, thank you, it's so thoughtful, it's perfect, thank you" she said before frowning and looking at the Moses basket she was still holding, "what about…" she gestured to it.

"I erm, well, I thought you could leave that downstairs for her to sleep in during the day but I can take it back if…"

"No, no, it's fine, it's more than fine" she finally managed to pull herself together and wiped at her eyes again, "thank you Dylan, I, I really appreciate this, thank you."

"Do you want me to take these upstairs?" Dylan asked, eager to avoid being present if Rita started to cry again.

Rita nodded, "yes please."

She carried the Moses basket upstairs as Dylan took the boxes, he placed them neatly in the baby's nursery before making his excuses and leaving. Once he'd gone Rita managed to lower herself to the floor of the nursery where she took the blankets and sheets from their packaging so she could wash them. "I know" she whispered softly as she felt the baby kicking, "I think he loves you too" she smiled softly as she looked at the things Dylan had bought and stroked her stomach, "I don't know about him taking a little step towards being your Daddy" she said quietly, "I think this is a great, huge, leap."


	8. Chapter 8

This part's a bit shorter than usual but I thought it worked better if I had Dylan's chat with Zoe as a separate chapter. I'm also not sure whether to leave the relationships platonic or if Rita should get a little bit of romance (not necessarily from Dylan) so I'd love to know what you'd prefer.

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"He did what?" Dixie gasped as she sat on Rita's sofa, tea in hand, catching up with her friend.

Rita laughed and sipped at her tea, "he came round, built the furniture for her nursery and then stayed for dinner."

"Dinner?" Dixie raised one eyebrow.

"No Dix, not 'dinner' just dinner. We talked about the benefits of co-sleeping and he offered to buy her a Moses basket."

"And he just turned up the next day?"

Rita nodded, "with a beautiful Moses basket, some bedding and a crib for her to sleep in next to my bed."

"And he hasn't mentioned it since?"

Rita shook her head, "not a word, we're back to just being a doctor and nurse who work together." She bit her lip and sipped at her tea, "do you think I'm being stupid? To keep giving him chances?"

"I can't make that decision for you." Dixie said softly, taking Rita's hand and squeezing it softly, smiling as Rita instantly moved their joint hands to her swollen stomach so Dixie could feel the baby moving, "I know you want what's best for the little one but you've given him a lot of chances to be involved and he just ignores them, you've got to draw a line somewhere. You won't be the bad one or in the wrong if you do, you've given him chances, he knows where you live, he knows where his Daughter will be, he can come to you if he changes his mind. You're going to have a baby soon, you can't keep running around after Dylan and, as much as you might want to, you can't force Dylan to stand up and be a father. You need to put yourself and the baby first, if he chooses to walk away then he'll be the one that misses out Rita, not you and not this gorgeous little lady."

"I saw how his father was with him" Rita said softly, "I don't blame him for being scared about being a dad."

"And how do you feel about being a Mum? Dylan wasn't the only one that was surprised by this" she said softly, her hand still stroking Rita's bump.

Rita shrugged, "I try not to think about it too much" she admitted, "I mean I know I'm having a baby but other than that…"

"Rita" Dixie frowned, "talk to me Darlin'"

"If Dylan doesn't step up she's going to depend on me for everything Dix, it wasn't that long ago that I could barely take care of myself and now, if I screw up I won't just be screwing my life up, I'll be screwing hers up too" she whispered as her eyes filled with tears, "I love her" she ran her hand over her bump, "I love her more than I've ever loved another person but sometimes I think about the responsibility, about how her entire life will be dependent on me having my shit together and it makes me feel sick, I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother Dix."

"Oh sweetheart" Dixie held Rita tight, "where's all this coming from? I had no idea you felt like that."

"Everyone else seems so excited" Rita whispered, "but they don't have to raise her, they won't be the ones that are up all night when she won't stop crying. I can't really say to Robyn or Charlie or Zoe or Whoever, "yeah, you might be looking forward to cuddling her and buying her lots of cute things but it could be years before I ever get some time to myself and that absolutely terrifies me."

"You could have told me Rita, you can tell me anything."

"It's virtually impossible to find childcare for when I have to work night shifts and I'm not even sure I can afford to pay to send her to nursery or the creche at the hospital, I don't want to end up being a single mum on benefits but there are times when I can't see any other way."

"What about Dylan?" Dixie asked softly, "even if he doesn't want to be involved he has a duty to…"

"No" Rita said quietly, "he's made his feelings clear from the start, I knew how he felt about having a baby when I decided to keep her, I made the decision, I'm not going to expect him to pay for her, I wanted her, she's my responsibility."

Dixie nodded, "I'm sure he'd help you if you were struggling though."

"I'm scared I'll let her down" Rita whispered, "I'm scared I'll hurt her, that I won't be enough for her and she'll grow up to hate me."

"She won't hate you Rita, you might argue as she gets older but she won't hate you and you won't be on your own, you're stuck with me kid. You want a day to lay in bed and watch crap films, Auntie Dix'll take her out for the day, you've not slept in days because she won't stop crying, she can come for a sleepover at mine so you can get some kip, I might not be her Dad but I'm here for the both of you yeah, even if you just need me to come round, make a cuppa and wash your pots. Whatever you need Darl' you've always got me."

"I know" Rita sniffled as she snuggled into Dixie, "and I'm so grateful for that."

"So you should be" Dix teased, but if you were really grateful…"

"No" Rita laughed, "I am not calling her Dixie-Two"

"Made you laugh though" Dixie winked, "have you thought of any names for her?"

"A few, I haven't really decided on anything yet, I think I'm probably going to wait until she's born, see if there's anything that seems to suit her."

"What sort of thing are you going for? Princess? Honeysuckle Fairyblossom?"

"No" Rita laughed again, "I like Charlotte, and Olivia, Florence, Amelia, Emily, Alice, Phoebe, Sophia, I don't know, her middle name's going to be Elizabeth though."

"Like you?"

"And my Mum, and my Grandmother and my Great-grandmother and...yeah, you get the idea."

"What about Kathleen? Kathleen Elizabeth Freeman?" She frowned slightly, "no, actually, don't do that to the poor girl."

"I wasn't planning to" Rita rolled her eyes, "she's going to be a nice little girl with a nice name."

"What are you trying to say?"Dixie pretended to be shocked.

"I'm trying to say that you're a pain and one of you is more than enough."

"Hey" Dixie pretended to be insulted, "If I'm a pain you won't be wanting a takeaway tonight…"

"Well Ms Dixon, that is exactly where you're wrong, you're such a pain I'm expecting you to buy me and your niece a takeaway to make up for it. And" Rita pointed her finger at Dixie, "and I'll be choosing the DVD."

Dixie laughed and rolled her eyes, one hand still gently stroking Rita's bump, "and she thinks I'm a pain" she whispered to the baby.

"Oi" Rita playfully pushed Dixie away from her, "I heard that." She laughed as her stomach rumbled loudly, "now are you buying us a Chinese or are you going to let us starve?"


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry this has taken so long, I really struggled to write Dylan 'opening up' to someone the way Rita did, so I hope this chapter's okay.

I'm still not sure about a romance for Rita. I have a couple of options in mind but I don't think anything's going to happen until after Rita's settled with the baby. Just out of interest, do those of you who want her to be in a relationship but not with Dylan have any preferences for who you'd like to see her with?

* * *

"You alright?" Zoe asked, sitting down on the bench beside Dylan and lighting up a cigarette.

"Yes" Dylan said unconvincingly, "I erm, I just thought I'd get some air whilst we're not too busy."

Zoe nodded and inhaled deeply on her cigarette, "yeah, I thought I'd take my break too whilst we're…" she shook her head, "I'm not even going to say it."

"Yes, I don't blame you it does almost feel like the calm before the storm doesn't it?"

Zoe nodded before asking, "Have you spoken to Rita lately?"

"We worked together last night but that's not what you mean is it?"

"No" Zoe said dryly, "you know it isn't, have you spoken to her about the baby?"

"No, no, I erm, I've given it some thought and I still think that it would probably be best if I left well alone, I have every confidence that Rita will be a very competent parent and she won't want me interfering."

"Dylan" Zoe sighed, "it's not about how competent Rita will be, or about you interfering. Raising a child is hard work, Rita might be the best mother in the world but I'm sure she'd be grateful of your support, of an extra pair of hands, someone to share parenthood with. Yes Rita could probably bring that baby up on her own but not only will it be easier for her, having both her parents in her life will be good for the baby, no matter what you say, you are not your father Dylan, that little girl will benefit greatly from having you in her life and you know what? I think you'd benefit from being a father too."

"I'm more than willing to provide for the baby, I know that I'm just as responsible for her existence as Rita, I've been looking into child support and…"

"Dylan" Zoe sighed as she took another drag on her cigarette, "I don't just mean financial support, Rita will need emotional support too, and someone to be there for her. Someone to hold a crying baby so she can go to the loo, someone who'll sit with the baby so Rita can sleep after being up all night.

"And what if I'm not this amazing, natural father like everyone seems to think I'll be, what if she accidentally knocks over my coffee and I lose my temper and scare her? What if..."

"You won't" Zoe interrupted, "you won't because you know what it's like to have a father like that and you'll do your best to not be like him." She took another drag on her cigarette, "have you spoken to Rita? She's probably worrying about things just as much as you are, it's a huge change for her too."

"I…"

"Talk to her Dylan, sort this out before you miss out on something as wonderful as watching your daughter grow up."

Several days passed where Dylan did almost nothing but think about Zoe's words to him, Rita seemed so happy, so excited about the baby that Dylan found it hard to believe she could be scared about becoming a mother. He knew he should talk to her, to try and sort things out before their daughter's arrival but he couldn't, he'd never been good at conversation and he had absolutely no idea how to start the conversation with Rita.

"Everything okay?" Rita asked as she approached Dylan as he stood, leaning on the railings, gazing down over the department.

Dylan jumped having not heard Rita walking towards him, "yes, yes, just erm, just having a moment."

Rita nodded, "I'm just about to take my break, I was going to have a cuppa in my office if you…"

"Yes" Dylan nodded after thinking for a moment, "that would be nice."

They walked to Rita's office in silence and she gestured for Dylan to sit down as she flicked on the kettle, "biscuit?" She offered him an open packet of chocolate digestives, putting them down and picking up a banana for herself as Dylan shook his head.

"Could I erm, could I have your bank account details?" Dylan asked after another few moments of tense silence, "I'd like to set up a direct debit for child support, unless you'd prefer a cheque every month of course" he began to ramble, "now I'm not sure how much nappies and other things cost but I think £750 a month is a reasonable amount, obviously if you need more then I can give you more and when you return to work we can sort something out in regards to paying for childcare. If you'd rather do it properly and go through the Child Support Agency then we can do that but…"

"Dylan" Rita said softly, "thank you, that would be a great help, I'll erm, I'll get you the details later?."

Dylan nodded as Rita handed him a mug, "thank you." They sat in silence for a while before Dylan spoke again as he watched Rita rubbing circles on her stomach, knowing she could probably feel the baby wriggling under her skin, "it's strange isn't it? Knowing there's another person in there."

Rita smiled and nodded, "yeah, it is, especially now she's more active… do you erm, do you want to feel?"

Dylan's face lit up, "Could I? I mean not if you'd be uncomfortable or…"

"Dylan" Rita interrupted him, "I wouldn't have offered if it'd make me uncomfortable" she said, gently taking his hand and placing it on the top of her bump, pressing it firmly against her skin, "that's her bum" she dragged his hand down the side of her stomach, "her back" and that" she pressed his hand against a firmness at the bottom of her bump, "is her head" she moved his hands again so he could feel the baby's movements, "and those are her little feet, or maybe her knees."

Rita let Dylan feel the baby moving for a while before moving away to make the tea once the kettle had boiled. She passed him his mug before sitting beside him with her own, an awkward silence once again filling the room.

"Are you scared?" Dylan asked out of the blue before clarifying, "about having the baby?"

Rita thought for a moment before nodding as she took a sip of her tea, "yeah" she whispered, "yeah I am."

Dylan was surprised by Rita's answer, "how do you do it then? How do you get over that...that overwhelming fear?"

"I don't know if you can" Rita said honestly, "but worrying about the what if's and worrying about everything that might go wrong won't change anything…" Rita sipped at her tea and gently rubbed circles on her stomach, "No matter how scared I am, she's due in 8 weeks, nothing I do, nothing I worry about will change that. I try not to think about it, I'm having a baby, I'll deal with anything else if and when it comes up. If I let myself dwell on all the things that scare me about having a baby, I'd never get anything else done."

"I'm worried I'll let her down" Dylan admitted, his head bowed.

Rita turned to face Dylan, "the only way you're certain to let her down is to walk away, you'll never let her down by being there for her."

"I haven't exactly been the best father figure though have I?"

"No" Rita said honestly, "but she doesn't know about any of this" she said as she ran her hand over her bump, "if you're there for her from the moment she's born, that's all she'll know. I'm not going to tell her you were so scared about becoming a dad that you thought it best to just walk away, if you're there for her the only thing she'll know is that her Daddy loves her. You were scared, I get that, and I understand why you wanted to walk away but I think she'd be lucky to have you as her Daddy. What's happened over the past few months hasn't been ideal, I get that but we've got 8 weeks, it's not too late for you to decide to be her Daddy."


	10. Chapter 10

I'm surprised by the amount of guest reviewers who want to see Rita and Dylan get together! I'm not sure if I could really make Dylan/Rita work romantically without giving Dylan a complete personality change. I do think he cares for Rita but not necessarily in a romantic way. Whoever Rita ends up with, it probably won't happen for a few chapters yet, I think she'd probably want to concentrate on her daughter for a while before she thinks about letting someone else into her life.

Anyway, enough rambling. I hope you like this update :)

* * *

Lofty tapped on the door to Rita's office and pushed it open before she'd had chance to respond a few weeks after her conversation with Dylan, "Rita have you...what's wrong?" he asked, as he saw Rita sat in her chair, her arms wrapped around her stomach as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"She's not moving" Rita whispered, "I can't remember when I last felt her kick."

Lofty poked his head out of the office, "Dylan's free, can I…?" Rita nodded and Lofty gently squeezed her hand, "I'm sure she'll be just fine, she's probably just asleep or something, getting ready to keep you up all night" he tried to reassure her before approaching Dylan at the nurse's station, "Dylan can you…"

"It's Dr Keogh whilst we're on the ward" Dylan interrupted him, "and no I can't, I'm busy."

"It's Rita…"

The colour drained from Dylan's face, "where is she? What's happened?"

"She's in her office, she says she can't remember when she last felt the baby moving."

"Get me the portable ultrasound, cubicle 6 is free, I'll take her in there" Dylan said, his pen falling to the desk as he raced off to Rita's office.

"I'm sorry" she whispered as she looked up to see Dylan rush into her office.

"There's no need for you to apologise, now I've sent Ben to get the portable ultrasound, can you walk to a cubicle or do you need me to fetch you a wheelchair?"

"I can walk" Rita whispered.

"Okay" Dylan carefully helped Rita from her chair, "tell me if you change your mind."

"Thank you" Rita whispered, saying nothing as Dylan's hand came to rest in the small of her back as they walked over to the empty cubicle, the simple touch giving her the comfort she was so desperate for.

Dylan nodded in thanks to Lofty who was waiting in the cubicle for them with the requested equipment, "can you check her temperature please, and her blood pressure?" Dylan asked, Lofty helping Rita onto the bed as Dylan closed the curtains, "is there anything else wrong? Any cramping or bleeding?"

Rita shook her head, "I've got backache but I've had that for a while."

"And you've been attending all your antenatal appointments?" Rita nodded as Dylan gently felt her bump, "and there's been no other complications?" he asked, knowing that, as the baby's father, this was information he should already know.

"Only me passing out from dehydration but you know about that?."

Dylan nodded, "and you've been drinking plenty of fluids? Your fingers are looking a little swollen, can you do a full bloods for me too?" he asked Lofty.

The nurse nodded, "her temps 36.8 and her bp's 110 over 60" he told Dylan.

"My fingers have been swollen for a while" Rita told Dylan, "my ankles are swollen too, my midwife checked for protein at my last appointment, she said I was okay."

He nodded, "I'd still like to send off another sample to the lab just to be sure, your blood pressure…"

"That's a normal reading for me" Rita told him with a nod before glancing at the ultrasound machine, "can you...please? I need to know."

Dylan nodded, "I assume I don't need to warn you about this?" he said as he picked up the gel, Rita helpfully rolling her top up and folding down the waistband of her trousers.

Rita shook her head as Lofty slipped from the cubicle to get what he needed to take a sample of Rita's blood. She watched Dylan's back as he looked at the monitor, the position of the machine meaning she couldn't see the image, "Dylan…" she whispered, her heart breaking as he turned to her with tears in his eyes.

"Oh God no" he saw her face fall, "no, no, she's fine, she, she's sucking her thumb, she's got a nice strong heartbeat look" he stepped back and moved the monitor so Rita could see the grainy image on the screen, "she's okay" he whispered as he watched their baby on the screen, her tiny feet twitching occasionally, the thumb of her left hand firmly in her mouth.

"Oh" Rita began to sob in relief, her whole body shaking as tears rolled down her cheeks, "I'm sorry" she sobbed, "I'm sorry."

"No it's okay, should I...do you want me to get Zoe or someone?" he asked, not sure how to deal with Rita's emotions.

"Give her a hug" Dylan jumped, he hadn't even noticed Lofty return, "give her a hug" he repeated as he put down the tray he was carrying before leaving Rita and Dylan alone.

"Would you like a hug?" Dylan asked awkwardly, managing to sit on the bed beside Rita when she nodded, "it'll be okay" he tried to reassure her as she instantly curled into him, sobbing into his shoulder.

"I thought I'd lost her" Rita sobbed.

"You haven't though, it's been a long time since my obs and gynae rotation so I'm not sure exactly what she's doing in there but she's okay, her heart's still beating and she seems to be a good size."

"Thank you" Rita sat back on the bed and wiped at her eyes, "I'm sorry" she whispered, gesturing to the side of Dylan's shirt where the gel from her stomach had rubbed against the white cotton.

"I've got a spare in my locker" Dylan said as he stood from the bed and passed Rita some tissue to clean off her stomach and wipe her eyes, "I still want to send off some bloods and maybe a urine sample just to be certain."

Rita nodded, "okay"

"This one's empty I think…" Connie frowned as she drew back the curtains to the cubicle, "is everything okay?" she asked before turning to Robyn who'd followed with her patient, "cubicle 2" she said, waiting until Robyn had left before stepping inside the curtains and pulling them closed again as she waited for an explanation from Dylan or Rita.

"Nurse Freeman was worried, she couldn't remember when she'd last felt her baby move."

Connie frowned again and gestured to the ultrasound machine, "and is everything okay?"

Dylan nodded, "everything seems fine, I'm going to send off a blood and urine sample to be certain."

Connie nodded and looked at Rita, "get your things and go to my office when you've finished here, I need to talk to you and I'll call you a taxi so you can go home and rest."

"Thank you" Rita nodded.

"Would you like to go somewhere this weekend on the boat?" Dylan asked nervously as he passed Rita some tissue to clean the gel off her stomach before taking a sample of her blood once she was sorted, "we can talk and work something out about…" he gestured to Rita's stomach as he gave her a ball of cotton wool to hold in the crook of her elbow.

"You can say it you know" Rita told him, "the baby, our baby...your daughter."

"We need to sort something for our daughter's sake, I erm, I know I might not have been the best father figure so far but I'd like to be a part of her life if you'd let me?"

Rita nodded, "I never intended you to keep you away from her."

"Thank you. Would you like me to pick you up?"

Rita shook her head, "I'll drive over, about 10 on Saturday okay?"

Dylan nodded, "yes, that will be fine, he held out a small pot, would you like me to give you some privacy so you can…?"

Rita shook her head, "I'll go to the ladies, trust me Dylan, there is no way that pot is going to be big enough!" she said as she shuffled to the edge of the bed, taking Dylan's hands as he offered them to her to help her stand, "I'll send this off myself" she told him, "and I'll see you on Saturday."


	11. Chapter 11

Totti10 - Maybe that feeling's got something to do with the fact that I am ridiculously predictable? You never know you might be surrised! The birth was one of the first things I wrote when I started this fic but I've just written some dialog between Dylan and Rita that's given me another (completely different) idea so there's still time for me to change my mind!

Just a little filler chapter for now :)

* * *

"You could have waited for me inside" Connie said as she walked into the office, holding the door open for Rita to follow her inside before sitting down beside her desk and gesturing for Rita to sit down too.

"I wasn't waiting for long" Rita said honestly as she carefully lowered herself into the chair opposite the clinical lead, she'd changed from her uniform whilst she'd been waiting for Connie, and had a much needed cup of tea.

Connie nodded, "how is she?" she gestured to Rita's bump.

Rita smiled and gently ran her hand over her stomach, the thin fabric of her tshirt smoothing over the gentle curve of her bump, "she's doing okay, she was sucking her thumb when Dylan did the scamn."

Connie returned the smile, "and how are you?"

"I'm okay" Rita nodded, "better now I know she's doing okay in there, I don't...it's been so busy this morning I didn't, I couldn't remember if I'd felt her moving, I didn't know if she hadn't moved or if I'd been so preoccupied with other things that I hadn't noticed her."

"You did the right thing" Connie reassured her, "any time you're worried about anything you find one of us or you take yourself to maternity, I'm sure nobody would complain about taking the time to reassure you that everything's okay."

"Thank you" Rita dipped her head, her fingers still running over her bump before pausing as she felt something.

"Is everything okay?" Connie saw Rita's hand falter on it's repetitive journey over her stomach.

Rita's smile grew slightly as she nodded, feeling her skin twitch slightly beneath her fingers, "I think she's got hiccups."

Connie smiled and shook her head slightly, "I want you to take the rest of the day off" she told Rita, "go home, put your feet up and take things easy and starting tomorrow I'd like you on light duties only, I know this is a busy ED and it's going to be hard but I want things to be as easy and stress free as possible for you. If you want to start your leave earlier than…"

"No" Rita interrupted, "No, I erm, I want to keep working."

"Are you sure?"

Rita nodded, "yeah, I'm 35 weeks, I can keep going until 37, I'd rather have the time off once she's here."

Connie nodded again, "okay, well, as I said I want you to take it easy, take your breaks, don't be thinking you're letting anyone down if you need to sit down for 5 minutes."

"Thank you" Rita said softly, over the past few weeks Connie had noticed just how tired Rita seemed to get, she frequently found herself calling the nurse into her office to 'go through some paperwork'. Occasionally they did do paperwork together but more often than not they simply sat drinking tea together and talking about anything and everything just to give Rita time to put her feet up and recharge her batteries for 10 minutes. Everyone was surprised at how well the pair now got along, professionally and personally, even Rita and Connie could never have predicted how much they'd have had in common. "You were right though" she added.

"I always am" Connie laughed, "but what about this time."

"Only working days, I don't feel quite so exhausted now I'm not doing night shifts."

"Ah that" Connie laughed, "yes, I hate to say it but I told you so." It had been a few weeks since Connie had told Rita she wouldn't be rota'd onto night shifts anymore, Rita had protested, insisting that her pregnancy didn't affect her ability to do her job adequately at any time of day but Connie hadn't listened, convinced Rita would thank her eventually.

"I don't think you quite realise just how tiring they are until you don't do them any more, I guess you get used to them."

"I'd agree" Connie nodded, "and if you need to only work days because of childcare when you come back after your leave then we can work around that, just let us know when you've decided what you want to do."

"Thank you" Rita nodded, "Dixie's offered to help and Dylan seems to be showing willing now so…"

"Well as I've said, we can talk about it nearer the time, so why don't you get off, get your feet up and make the most of your day off."

Rita smiled as she stood up, one hand still stroking her rounded stomach, "thanks, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

The weekend arrived quickly, and, despite Rita's wishes for a lie in, her baby woke her a little after 7 by bouncing on her bladder, forcing her to reluctantly leave the warm comfort of her bed. "Almost two hours" Rita mused as she glanced at her clock on the way to the bathroom, "thanks." There had been times over the past few weeks where Rita's daughter had found her bladder almost every hour, and she was grateful for every minute of undisturbed sleep she got.

She thought about having a shower before she went over to Dylan's before deciding instead to have a long soak in the bath. Her large bump made getting out of the bath somewhat difficult but she had plenty of time to figure out how she'd remove herself from the warm bubbles.

"Right Missy" Rita ran her hand over her bump once she was settled in the bath, "are you listening to me?" She smiled when she felt a kick against her hand, she knew it was coincidence, her daughter simply reacting to her voice but she couldn't help but think it was a sign the baby understood her. "You are not to grow any more okay? I'm uncomfortable and it can't be pleasant for you all tucked up in there. I don't want to fall out with you before you're even born, I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for that once you're a teenager so just trust me yeah? The size you are now, that's plenty big enough."

"I suppose we'd better try and get out" she told her bump after spending almost an hour in the bath, she'd become a master at using her toes to pull out the plug, once the water cooled, replacing it once an adequate amount of water had drained before turning on the hot tap to refill the bath, all without having to sit up. "Come on" she managed to roll herself onto her hands and knees in the bath, the first stage of her tried and tested method of, eventually, getting out of the bath, "we've got ready to go and see your daddy, that'll be nice won't it?"

She paused on her hands and knees for a moment, the water supporting the weight of her bump and taking the pressure off the base of her spine, "we could ring him though" Rita began talking to her bump again as she slowly rocked backwards and forwards, an action her midwife had told her would help the baby's head drop into her pelvis, "tell him I'm too comfortable in the bath to go over." She felt the baby kick again, "no, you're right, I'd have to get out of the bath to get my phone wouldn't I and that defeats the object. Okay, let's do this." She rocked back onto her heels so she was kneeling in the water before slowly pushing herself to her feet, "I don't think we should have any more baths" she told her bump as she carefully turned so she could sit on the edge of the bath, holding onto the sink for support as she swung first one leg over the side and then the other, "you're not making it easy for me to get out are you?" She coninued talking to her baby as she heaved herself to her feet, "maybe we'll start going swimming instead, if I can't get in and out of the pool then we really will have problems won't we?" She laughed to herself, pulling a selection of towels from the radiator and wrapping herself up before making her way back into her bedroom to try and find something remotely comfortable to wear for the day ahead.


	12. Chapter 12

I think I got a bit carried away writing this chapter so I've split it into two parts. I hope you like it!

* * *

It was a little before 10 when she knocked on the door to Dylan's boat dressed in a long white tshirt and the comfiest pair of maternity jeans she owned, had she been at home she'd probably have stayed in her pyjamas all day, or she'd be wearing the maternity scrubs that, with Connie's permission she'd 'borrowed' after the Clinical Lead had confessed they were one of the most comfortable things she'd worn in her own pregnancy and that she too had 'acquired' a few pairs to wear at home. But no, she figured that if Dylan was going to make the effort to be a father to their child, she could at least make the effort to get dressed.

Rita, this is Dervla" Dylan introduced her to his dog once he'd helped her on board the houseboat, "Dervla, I told you about Rita, remember I told you that she's pregnant so no getting too excitable with her and try not to harass her too much" he finally looked up at Rita, "I can put her in the bedroom if you'd rather…"

Rita shook her head and reached out to stroke Dervla's head, "she's fine aren't you girl."

"Have you eaten?" Dylan asked as Rita continued to fuss over Dervla.

"No, I erm, I still feel quite queasy in the mornings, the anti-emetics help but I can't eat anything until I've given them time to start working."

"Right, well, how about I make us some breakfast and then we set off, I know a little country pub about an hour and a half from here so I thought we could go there for lunch and maybe a walk if that'd be okay with you?"

Rita nodded, "that sounds nice"

"Okay, well" Dylan gestured to the sofa, "make yourself at home."

"Thank you" Rita smiled a while later as Dylan placed a large cooked breakfast in front of her, "it looks lovely but please don't be offended if I don't eat it all, I get really bad heartburn if I eat too much at once, I've just sort of been constantly grazing for the past few weeks."

"Oh, yes, I should have thought, sorry."

"No, no it's fine"

"Well just eat what you can, I'm sure Dervla will be only too happy to finish what you can't."

Rita smiled and nodded, Dervla settling on the floor by her feet, "thanks."

They ate in silence for a while before Dylan spoke, "has everything been okay since the other day."

Rita nodded, "yeah, she's been fine, she's not moving as much as she used to but my midwife says that's normal and that she's probably just running out of room to wriggle, I had a couple of Braxton Hicks contractions that night but other than that she's been fine."

"Yes" Dylan nodded, "it would make sense that she's running out of room." He was surprised by the size and the 'neatness' of her bump every time he saw Rita, the weight she'd put on in her pregnancy was solely around her stomach, so much so that someone approaching her from behind would have no idea she was pregnant until she turned around.

"I erm, I've been working on my birth plan" she told him as she began to push the food around her plate, already starting to feel full, "Dixie's agreed to be there but you're welcome to be there too, I won't mind if you'd rather just come up and see her when she's been born though."

"Would it make you uncomfortable if I was there?"

Rita shook her head, "no, not at all, she's your daughter as much as she is mine."

Dylan nodded, "I, I'd like that. Are you planning on having her in the hospital?"

"Yeah, I'd like to try a water birth I think, and I've said in my birth plan that I don't want to be offered pain relief but I don't want anyone to try and talk me out of it if I ask for some. I might be being too optimistic but I'd like to do things as naturally as possible.."

"I don't think you're being too optimistic, you've had a fairly smooth pregnancy, there's nothing to suggest that your labour won't be the same."

"I've read so many stories about women being pressured into things, like, if they don't think I'm progressing fast enough, if she's not distressed or anything I think I'd rather just wait and let things happen naturally but consensus seems to be that the professionals would rather go for a c section than wait and see."

"You could always refuse to be examined" Dylan suggested, "that way they'd have no idea of how quickly you were 'progressing'. And erm, excuse me if I'm being too forward but you could write out a list of things you definitely do and don't want and things you're willing to compromise on, that way, if you're feeling pressured into anything Dixie, or myself, would be able to speak out on your behalf because we'll know what you want."

Rita nodded, "that sounds like a good idea, I've been looking at the benefits of delayed cord clamping too and I think I'd like to do that too if I can...I just want what's best for her" she said as she ran her hand over her stomach.

"I know" Dylan nodded, I erm, I borrowed some books...from the library, I've been reading them, parenting books" he clarified, "I, I'd like to be involved in her upbringing but I won't...I won't." He sighed as he tried to compose his thoughts, "I don't want you to feel like I'm imposing, if you'd rather…"

"Dylan" Rita said softly, "you won't be imposing, not at all. Having her is going to be a big change for us both but we're in this together, if you don't feel comfortable having her on your own at first then that's fine, I've never done this before either but I want you to be a part of her life. I we ever have to make any big decisions, about childcare, her health, then we'll sit down like adults and discuss things to make the decisions together. We're both her parents, she'll need us both."

Dylan nodded, "I erm, I've got her a few things, I didn't know what you had already so… Would you like to see them?"

Rita smiled, "yeah okay."

Dylan took Rita through to his bedroom and opened the wardrobe taking several carrier bags, "it's mainly clothes, I got some bigger sizes but there are some toys and nappies, wipes, baby shampoo, that sort of thing."

"Thank you" Rita smiled as she looked through the bags, "you're going to be well dressed aren't you hey" she asked her bump, not seeing Dylan reach up to take something from the top of the wardrobe.

"I got this too, I've still got the reciept so if you've already got one I can take it back."

"Oh Dylan" Rita felt tears fill her eyes as she saw the soft pink playmat he was holding, the thick padded mat shaped like a rabbit, the picture on the packaging showing that the rabbit's head and arms would support her daughter's own head as she played with the toys that hung from the bars over the mat, "it's beautiful thank you" she said before wiping at her eyes, "sorry, I seem to be crying at everything at the moment." She felt the baby move and smiled, reaching for Dylan's hand so he could feel it too, "I think she's saying thank you."

They spent a while looking through the things Dylan had bought before they put them back into the bags and Dylan left Rita in Dervla's company so they could make a start on their journey. He left her curled on his sofa reading one of his many books, Dervla squashed along side her, her head close enough that Rita could scratch between her ears as she read, an action that Dylan knew would make Rita a firm friend of Dervla's.

It was about an hour later when Dervla appeared by Dylan's side, "Ah, you've finally remembered me have you?" He joked as he saw her, "what is it girl?" He briefly scratched Dervla's head as she yelped and nuzzled against his legs,"what's wrong with you?" he frowned as he watched the dog walk over to the stairs that would take her back below deck before turning and barking at him. "Stop it now. Sit" he said firmly as the dog continued to walk from him to the stairs, still barking occasionally. "Dervla, enough" he tried to shoo her away, "what's gotten into you?" he asked as she nipped the leg of his trousers between her teeth and tried to pull him to the stairs, "okay okay, what do you want me to see?" He steered the boat to the edge of the canal and managed to tie it to a nearby tree, "go on girl, what is it?"

Dervla yelped at Dylan before running down the stairs, turning at the bottom to make sure he was following her before she bounded off into the kitchen area of the houseboat, "Dylan"

"Oh God" he raced over to Rita's side as he realised what Dervla had been trying to tell him, "take some deep breaths Rita."

"I, I don't think these are braxton hicks" she groaned as she stood, bent over, rocking slightly and clutching at the kitchen side, "how, how far are we from the hospital?"

"We're about an hour from Holby, I don't know if there's anywhere closer, do you want me to call an ambulance?"

Rita groaned out in pain, "I don't think she's going to wait" she said before gasping as she felt her waters break

"Okay" Dylan tried to get himself together, "can I…" he gestured to the, now damp,maternity jeans Rita was wearing.

"Mhmm" she groaned, grasping at the kitchen side, rocking slightly as she felt another contraction.

Dylan frowned as he helped Rita from her trousers and underwear, "did your midwife say anything about the position of the baby?"

Rita nodded, "head down and…" she inhaled sharply, "why?"

"Well, no, she's not. I don't want you to panic Rita but I can see a foot."


	13. Chapter 13

"A… a…" Rita didn't get chance to finish her sentence before she cried out as she felt the pain of another contraction tear through her body.

"Take some deep breaths" Dylan found himself rubbing the bottom of Rita's back as Dervla stood beside Rita, yelping occasionally when Rita made a noise of pain. "I'm going to get some towels to wrap her in, I'll be right back" he told her, smiling slightly as he noticed Dervla move closer to Rita, the faithful hound wanting to protect the woman who'd shared her breakfast with her this morning.

"Dylan" Rita groaned as he returned, "I, I think I need to push."

"Okay" Dylan put down the towels he was carrying and knelt beside Rita, "if you need to push then push on your next contraction, I might need to help her a bit, is that okay?"

Rita nodded, "Just… just make sure she's okay, don't…don't let anything happen to her."

"I'll do my best to make sure nothing happens to either of you" he promised, getting nothing in response as Rita simply groaned, her whole body tensing as she began to push.

For Rita the pain seemed never-ending, she felt like nothing was happening, that no matter how hard she pushed she wasn't getting any closer to holding that tiny baby in her arms. She couldn't believe she was doing this, leant against the sideboard in the kitchen of Dylan's boat either, she wanted to be in the hospital, she wanted an epidural "I can't" she whimpered, "I can't do it anymore."

"Yes, yes you can Rita" Dylan told her, "you're doing really well, now, I imagine it won't be pleasant for you but I think we'll be able to get her shoulders out on your next contraction, she's almost out Rita and I know you must be tired but once she's here you'll be able to sleep while I take us back to Holby" he said, not wanting to panic Rita but he knew the risks associated with a breech birth and he wanted to get the baby out as quickly as possible.

"She...she…"

"I'm holding her Rita, one big push to get her shoulders out and then it's just her head." Rita nodded, the news that Dylan was holding their daughter's body gave her a new burst of energy, and with Dylan's help, Rita felt something slip from her body just a few short minutes later.

"She's not, why isn't she crying?" Rita began to panic as she glanced down towards the baby.

"It's okay, calm down" Dylan too tried to stay calm, "can you sit down? Lean back against the cupboards?"

Rita carefully did as Dylan asked her to and he laid the baby on the floor between her legs and wrapped her in a towel, briskly rubbing her back before he picked up another towel and gently used the corner to clean out her nose and mouth. "Dylan" Rita felt tears fill her eyes as he picked the baby up and once again rubbed firmly at her back.

"Come on" he mumbled, letting out a sigh of relief as the baby coughed, spluttered and then let out a loud cry. "Here we go" he passed the baby over to Rita, "congratulations."

"Oh Dylan" Rita sobbed as she held the baby to her chest, "she's perfect, thank you, thank you so much." She wasn't sure if she was thanking him for fathering the baby or for helping deliver her.

"It's okay" Dylan said simply, "Now erm...the books I read said there have been several studies that have shown benefits to skin to skin contact with newborns, especially after early or difficult births so it might be good for her to...it will help her regulate her breathing and her temperature."

Rita nodded, "could you take her so I could…?" she was reluctant to part with her daughter just yet but she knew Dylan was right, that the skin contact would benefit their daughter.

Dylan nodded, gazing down at the baby as Rita handed her over, he hadn't really looked at her before, he'd been too focused on being 'doctor' but now, now he was this baby's father and he knew, he knew straight away that he'd do anything to protect her. He'd never really believed in love at first sight until his daughter was placed in his arms, she was perfect and Dylan swore he felt his heart fill with unconditional love for the tiny infant.

"Hello girl" he said softly as Dervla came over and sniffed carefully at the bundle in his arms, "have you come to say hello?" He moved the baby carefully so he could hold her in one arm, taking hold of Dervla's collar with the other to stop her getting too close, "we've got to be careful with the baby" he told Dervla, "you're going to have to look after her, no licking her or trying to play with her just yet." Rita smiled as she watched Dylan talking to Dervla, their daughter cradled safely in his arm, "hey, you're okay" he said softly as he heard the baby begin to whine, "shall we give you back to Rita, I mean your Mummy?" he asked her before gently passing her back to Rita who'd covered herself with the towels Dylan had bought through.

"Hello" Rita cooed as she slipped the baby from the towels and laid her against her chest, the infant instantly settling against her mother, "shall we see if you're hungry hmm?"

Dylan tidied things up a little as Rita fed the baby, taking her a blanket to cover herself with and finding out some of the tiny nappies, baby vests and sleepsuits he'd bought for the baby along with some underwear and jogging bottoms of his own so Rita would be able to make herself at least half decent.

He waited until the baby had finished feeding and they were both dressed before getting Rita settled in his bed, their daughter sleeping beside her and Dervla laid protectively on the floor by the side of the bed where the baby lay, she looked up at Dylan and barked quietly letting her master know that she'd make sure the baby and her mother were safe.

He made his way out of the bedroom, intending on taking them back to Holby when he saw Rita's damp trousers on his kitchen floor along with some of his towels, and the morning's events suddenly hit him, he had a baby, he was a father, a daddy. He was struggling to process everything so he pulled out his phone and rang the one person he knew would help.

"Dylan, is everything okay?" Zoe asked as she picked up the phone, she knew Dylan and Rita were going away for the weekend so they could sort out their differences in private.

"I've got a baby Zoe" she could hear the shock in his voice, "Rita, in the kitchen, Dervla came to get me."

"Rita's had the baby?"

"She's so beautiful Zoe, she's tiny and perfect, I just had to tell someone."

"Is everything okay? Where are you?"

"We're still on the boat, we're coming back to Holby. I've got a baby Zoe, I've got a daughter."

"Congratulations. Does she have a name?"

"No, I don't know, I haven't spoken to Rita…"

"What do you mean you haven't spoken to her, Dylan you've got a baby with her, you need to…"

"No, Zoe, no." He interrupted, "the baby was breech, Rita was exhausted, I checked them both over, she fed the baby and then I helped her to bed so she can get some rest, they're both asleep. I'm not… she's perfect, I'm not going to let her down if I can help it."

Zoe smiled, "congratulations Daddy."

"Daddy" Dylan whispered, "I'm a Daddy."


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey, hey, you're okay" Dylan carefully lifted the tiny baby into his arms as she whimpered slightly a while later, he'd never admit it but he'd been sat watching her sleep for a while. "Mummy's right there" he pointed to Rita who was laid on the bed beside where he sat, "but you've worn her out so I'm afraid you're stuck with me for the time being" he said, the baby settling in his arms and gazing up at him as he spoke softly to her, "come on, let's leave her to sleep."

Rita woke almost two hours later to find the bed beside her empty, she rubbed at her eyes and pulled herself from the bed, padding sleepily into the living area of the boat she couldn't help but smile as she saw Dylan asleep on the sofa,their tiny baby curled up on his chest as she too slept peacefully, Dervla napping by Dylan's feet. Rita reached out to stroke the baby's back, and smiled as she watched her daughter stir slightly, yawning and nuzzling against Dylan's shirt before she began to whimper quietly, "shh" she whispered, "you're okay" she said softly as she carefully lifted the baby into her arms, "are you hungry hey?"

Dylan frowned and stirred slightly as his daughter's tiny weight was removed from his chest, "what…" his eyes fluttered open before closing firmly again when he realised that the baby was now curled into Rita, suckling quietly at her exposed breast, "I erm…" he mumbled, cheeks flushing red as he rolled over to face the back of the sofa, "are you erm, are you okay?"

Rita chuckled slightly and rolled her eyes, "I'm okay" she said softly.

"We're back in Holby. I was going to let you have half an hour before going to the hospital, I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay" Rita said softly, smiling down at the baby who was gazing inquisitively up at her Mummy, "I think she's doing just fine."

"Have you got a car seat for her?" Dylan asked, still facing the back of the sofa, "I mean do you have it with you or would you like me to go and fetch it for you?"

"No, it's in my car with the hospital bag" Rita said softly as she adjusted her top, "she's finished feeding, would you like to wind her?"

"I erm, I…"

"You can turn around she's finished eating."

"Are you…?"

"I'm decent" Rita rolled her eyes as Dylan rolled onto his back and sat up, "do you want to wind her?" Rita asked again as she gently rocked the baby.

"I, I don't know how to...I mean I read the books...I don't want to not do it properly and make her uncomfortable."

"You won't" Rita said softly as she stood up and got the tea towel from the kitchen counter, "and this is new to us both, if we make mistakes we'll learn from them" she said as she sat beside him, "put this on your shoulder" she said softly as she handed over the tea towel, waiting until Dylan had done so before carefully passing the baby over, "rest her chin on your shoulder and put one hand under her bum, and now you just pat and rub her back."

"I don't want to hurt her" Dylan confessed, not really knowing how much pressure to use."

"I'm sure she'll let you know if she's not happy with what you're doing"

"Do you, have you thought of a name for her?" Dylan asked before smiling as the baby burped quietly, "well done" he smiled, kissing her head softly.

"I like Ava, I'd like her middle name to be Elizabeth, it's a family name."

"Ava" Dylan said quietly.

"Is that okay? I mean, she doesn't have to be Ava if you don't like it."

"Ava was my mother's name" Dylan said solemnly as he continued to rub his daughter's back.

"Oh" Rita whispered, "well there are a couple of other names I like…"

"No" Dylan interrupted, "I'd like to call her Ava, if you wouldn't mind?"

Rita nodded, "Ava Elizabeth Freeman-Keogh"

"Keogh?"

Rita nodded, "she's as much your daughter as she is mine, we don't have to use both though, she could be Ava Keman or Ava Freogh."

"Ava Freogh" Dylan cracked a rare smile, "I mean Freeman-Keogh is a bit of a mouthful, we don't want her to hate us when she has to learn to write her name."

"I suppose not" Rita chuckled, "Ava Freogh it is."

Dylan smiled, "I erm, I think she's done" he said as Ava yawned and snuggled into his shoulder, "do you want to take her and I'll go and get the things from your car?"

Rita nodded and carefully took her daughter back from Dylan, "my keys are in my handbag, her car seat and my bag are in the boot, I'd like to get changed before we go."

Dylan nodded and left the room, Dervla slipping from the sofa to sit by Rita's side as she gently rocked the baby, "here we go" Dylan put the bag and car seat on the sofa a few minutes later.

"Thank you, do you want to get her settled in there?" Rita gestured to the car seat, "and I'll get changed."

Dylan nodded as Rita passed Ava to him, the baby whining slightly as she was moved before she curled into Dylan, reaching out to clutch at his shirt with her tiny hand, "oh" was all he could say, he was speechless, there were no words to express the amount of love, of adoration and pride that he felt towards the tiny little girl he'd help make.

Rita couldn't tear herself away from the scene in front of her, Dylan's gaze focused only on his daughter. She knew, after seeing him with his own father, why he'd wanted to walk away, she knew he was terrified that history would repeat itself and that he'd rather miss out on Ava's life completely than let her down the way his father had let him down. But she also knew, after seeing him interact with their daughter in the few short hours since her dramatic appearance, she knew he wouldn't, he wouldn't let her down. Rita could see that Ava would be able to wrap Dylan around her little finger, he was besotted by her. She'd never say it out loud but she was sure Ava would change Dylan for the better.

"We'd better get you settled before Mummy gets back hadn't we?" he asked as Ava gazed up at her father with the biggest blue eyes he'd ever seen. "Now stop that" he warned the baby, "I can't cuddle you all day, no, you have to go in this car seat so we can take you to the hospital and make sure you and Rita, I mean Mummy are okay." He carefully loosened her grasp on his shirt and sat her in the car seat, adjusting the straps to secure her and tucking a blanket around her tiny little legs.

"Is she okay?" Rita asked as she slowly made her way back over to Dylan.

Dylan nodded, "perfect" he whispered "I wasn't expecting her to be so alert" he confessed, finally dragging his eyes away from the baby who was still gazing up at him to look at Rita, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, still tired and I hurt in places I didn't know existed but I'll be okay" she said softly as she leant over the car seat to gently stroke her daughter's cheek.

"It's not much but I've got paracetamol if you want some" Dylan offered.

Rita smiled at the gesture but shook her head, "I'll be okay thanks. Can you carry her out to the car?"

Dylan nodded, "of course…" he picked up the car seat before gesturing to the bag Rita held, "do you want me to get that too?"

Rita handed over the bag, "thank you" she smiled, watching as Dylan told Dervla they'd be back soon and to behave before carrying Ava out to Rita's car.


End file.
